Saturday, April 29, 2006

Oops, I did it again!

8:30PM Friday: The boysies are tucked all snuggly in their beds, I make myself a dirty martini and settle into my own bed, in front of my TV, laptop at the ready next to me. Fairly standard occurrence when I’m home with them.

Since I had mixed my martini in my fabulous pink mini croc cocktail shaker that E got me for my birthday, I deemed an actual martini glass a necessity for the impending consumption.

Just as an aside, I am a troubled sleeper. My brain enjoys working overtime, and it refuses to shut down at a reasonable hour in order for me to get my required eight hours. While I know it is not the healthiest of remedies, I do tend to consume alcohol in the evenings to help facilitate slumber. Also, I like to drink.

10:59PM: Since just one is never an option, I’m on my third martini when I post this. After I hit publish, I turn, grab my martini glass off of my night table and turn back towards my laptop.

11:00PM: Disaster strikes. Grey Goose and olive juice slosh over the side of my martini glass, STRAIGHT into my waiting keyboard.

FUCK!

Another aside: Those of you that have been reading for a while know, I’ve been here before. But last time it was red wine and I had an excuse.

Flashback: January 5, 2006

Big Guy, who was supposedly sleeping, unexpectedly opened my bedroom door, because he was not so much with the sleeping, and scared the ever-loving shit out of me. Red wine, from the glass in my hand, flew about the room, all over my BEIGE duvet cover as well as INTO my WORK laptop keyboard.

I sopped up the red wine from my lappie and duvet cover, but the lappie still went phzzzt about twenty minutes later. I slunk into work the next day with my tail between my legs and confessed to the head of IT. He, being of the cool variety, totally fucked with my head, but had the laptop powered up again within minutes of my confession. Then he had me SWEAR I would never drink around the lappie again.

How soon we forget.

(But, it’s not my fault. He left the company about two weeks later due to our impending new-mommy.)

Back to Friday night.

11:03PM: I know what’s coming. I try to stop it. Initial panic over, I dry the keyboard, turn the laptop over to drain anything that might be hiding, turn my hairdryer on and blow hot air directly at it and power down. No phzzzt yet. Maybe I saved it.

11:30PM: Had phone sex with The Player to porn (damn my hormones!) (but I digress.)

12:00AM: Sleep.

6:35AM: Try and power this baby up. This baby was not having any of it.

DEAD. As a doornail, I tell ya.

Did I mention… FUCK?!

(Another aside, there’s no way that I can tell them at work… I did it again.)

(Yet another aside, did I mention, today we have the annual baseball parade at 8AM, soccer from 10:15 to 1:15 and a baseball game from 2 till 4? I don’t have time for this!!!)

6:36AM: I’m FREAKING out.

7:20AM: B calls. I remember that he has a computer contact. I tell him what happened; tell him that I NEED his help. Oh, you’re at the front door? I’ll be right down to open that up for you. I’m still freaking out. Ooh, you brought me coffee. Awesome!

7:25AM: OK. He’ll call his computer guy when he opens at 9 and see if he can bring it in for me. I’m still freaking out.

9:30AM: Parade and Opening Ceremonies… done. Go back to the house to ready the boysies for soccer, give B the dead laptop. I’m trying to control the freak-out.

9:35AM: He’ll call me with any updates, meet us at the soccer field when he’s done. I’m still freaking out.

10:30AM: B’s computer genius tells him that he’s got no techs there today, set it up under a heat lamp, try the hair dryer again, it should dry out and power up in a day or so. I’m a bit less with the freak-out.

11:00AM: B finally makes it to the soccer field. He’s in time for Big Guy’s game, Little Dude’s practice and game. He hands me my still DEAD laptop. I decide to open it up in the reflected sun in the back of my car to dry up. I’m trying to control the freak-out.

1:15PM: Little Dude’s game is done (they won 12-1, WOO-HOO!) and we head home to change for baseball. I need to deal; need to deal.

1:30PM: I melt my keyboard with my hairdryer; buttons for letters C, F, and M fall off the laptop completely.

1:31PM: I FREAK the FUCK out again!!!

1:50PM: B comes by with Chinese soup and shao-mai and takes the boysies to the baseball field while I make phone calls regarding the dead laptop and smoke ciggies. All the while… FREAKING OUT!!!

1:55PM: I call CompUSA in Braintree. I tell Phil the whole story, the entire, embarrassing mess of a story, including the history. He tells me they might be able to help me, that they are open until 9:30 tonight and from 11 to 6 tomorrow. It’ll cost me $150 to sign the lappie in if they are busy, but if they are not, they can work on it for nothing. Their non-busiest times will be from about 7:30pm tonight until close, and as close to opening time tomorrow. I’m still FREAKING out.

2:10PM: I head for the baseball field, yep, still FREAKING out.

4:00PM: Boysies and I are home, they are watching Shaggy DA, I am putting together dinner for them… still FREAKING out.

6:00PM: Dinner and Shaggy DA are over. I shepard the boysies into the car and drive them the 30 minutes to CompUSA. FREAKING out.

6:30PM: CompUSA. Matt asks if he can help me. I tell him that I spoke to Phil earlier and I think they can help me. He tells me, heh, yeah, he heard the story already. I wave my hand at him and say “Yeah, that’s me. And, I’m kinda FREAKING out!”

6:35PM: Matt takes the lappie and says “Let me try something.”

6:45PM: Matt comes back out and asks for my power source, says “Let me try this another way.”

6:46PM: FUCK! More FREAKING out on my part.

6:55PM: Matt brings out the lappie, tells me that he can’t help me with replacing the keyboard, he's not sure, but there might be something wrong with the battery, and then... POWERS me up.

6:56PM: OK. CALM.

7:00PM: The battery just needs charging. No, I don’t owe him any money. I can order a new keyboard for $61.00 from HP. END freak out. I LOVE Matt.

7:05PM: Boysies and I head home.

8:30PM: I start writing this on fucked up keyboard.

10:30PM: I finally finish writing this on fucked up, need to replace keyboard and post.

10:31PM: I make a martini and back the fuck away from the fucked up keyboard.

10:32PM: NOTE: Matt from CompUSA, you totally rock dude. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I still need a new keyboard for my laptop, but at least my laptop is working.

10:33PM: Freak out officially over.

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